the man with the upside down teeth

i just met a man with upside down teeth. it looked sort of like he had fake teeth, but he flipped them around, so the top ones were now on the bottom. although, i didnt actually see top teeth...so maybe there was a deal at the dentist that day...so he just went for the one row. maybe he switches it up and somedays wears them as tops and some days bottoms. im not sure. anyway, i met this man outside of the elevator...where most of my weird run-ins happen throughout the day...and he gave me a big smile with his one row of teeth and told me that hes happy to ride the elevator with me. then he looked me up and down with a goofy little grin and said, its not everyday you meet a smart and beautiful woman. they are hard to come by. haha i wonder what his criteria is for smart women? seeing as he just met me outside the elevator and all i did was press the button and stand there...the criteria must be pretty low. hah eh, whatever...a compliment is a compliment! ill take it...even if it is from the man with upside down teeth...

thank you! thanks SO much! no, no, thank YOU!

i know some ppl are concerned that ppl are impolite these days and that we are always rushing around and dont have time for manners...buuut im going to have to disagree. i think we may actually say thank you TOO much in this country. if anything, maybe we are polite when we dont need to be and forget our manners when we actually should use them. hmm.. i first noticed this when i went to spain the first time around and our teachers were like irritated at us that we said thank you when they handed papers back or passed out materials...they were like, why does each person need to say thank you every single time?? they quickly made us stop this incessant thanking and if you think about it, they may have a point! i thought about this yesterday when i was on my way to work. first its the bus driver...when we get off we say, thank you thank you thank you...and he has to say youre welcome youre welcome your welcome...all day long. like, really? why must we say thank you to the bus driver every day at least twice a day. i dont mean to be mean, but like..hes just doing his job and us mindlessly saying thank you in a monotone voice isnt actually being nice..its just some sort of weird habit. its not like i stop the metro conductor and say thank you to him each time i hop off the metro. wait, should i?? great, now i feel bad for the metro drivers! anyway, then its the newspaper guy...he just repeats ok have a great day ok have a great day ok have a great day...all morning long for hours and hours and we all rush past him, grab a paper, and yell thank you THANK YOU thaaaaank you sir! then i get on a shuttle bus to my work and its the saaaaame thing with this bus driver...thank you have a great day, youre welcome, have a good one, thanks so much, thanks its been a delight! best bus ride of my life..until the next one in about 8 hours. haha i mean i guess its fine to say thank you all the time..i just really think people dont even know what they are saying anymore...the word is losing meaning and its no longer special. but clearly i dont want to be different and so i will continue to say thank you to all paper people and bus drivers! even if the bus driver was 20 mins late or it was the worst ride of my life or if the paper was torn and wrinkled...i will still do my part, smile, and say thank you!

some people just dont know!

some people just dont know what they are allowed to say and what they should never say! ok, so most people have down that they arent allowed to ask if someone is pregnant or to ask when they are due until they are literally about to pop...and even then you should proceed with caution, because then what if they already had the baby?! its just a mistake that you def dont want to make! most people also know not to ask a woman about her age...although i dont know why and i dont think i will ever find this offensive!? but there are other things that people seem to be forgetting are on the "off limits" list. today, for example, one of my coworkers came into my office asking about something and asked how last week was (because i took on an extra job for the past couple of weeks)....i said, it was good, but a little exhausting and she goes..."YAH, YOU DO LOOK TIRED!" then she smiled and walked away. umm...excuse me?? that is not something you can casually say, like "oh do you have a stapler? you look like crap by the way! bye :)" even if i am sleeping under my desk, you still dont say it!! its just not nice! i mean, its true..i might be a TAD tired today...but i also didnt have time to put on mascara this morning and so i look a little different, ok..back off! then i was just in the elevator and some guy was like, hey, how are you. i said, i was fine but a little tired...ok, its just a standard small-talk answer that most people use after lunch for goodness sake..it doesnt invite a quick critique of how i look!! he apparently did not know that and so he looks me up and down and goes, "i know. i can tell by your face." haha omg! so rude!! what am i supposed to say to that btw?? aww, thanks!! so sweet!! and just in case you are one of these people...the same thing goes for when someone looks sick! i was really sick about a month ago and people would come into my office and take one look at me and shout YOU LOOK AWFUL...WHOA, ARE YOU SICK!?!? and stare with a horrified expression. that is just something no sick person needs to hear! so remember people, sometimes people are tired and sometimes people get sick...but there is really no need to comment!!

oh yahhhh!

looks like my prayers have been answered!! my birthday is coming up and i got two packages this weekend!! i LOVE getting packages and letters and really any mail at all..even if its just a bank statement or a bill, i still secretly get excited when i see my name!! anyway, i got one package from my FAM...which was full of really cute and fun stuff!!! and then i got one package from.....my spanish mama! the woman i lived with when i was in spain was practically my soulmate! haha we were SO much alike and everyone said she was just like an older version of me! crazy, talkative, workaholic...but maybe the crazy part is really what fit the best!! anyway, she sent me the sweetest package ever and answered my calls (which she could not have heard because she doesnt speak english meaning she never read this blog.....)! SHE SENT ME...are you ready??...SHE SENT ME...TWOOOO PACKAGES...of.......you guessssssed it...JAAAAAMOOON!!!!! hahahah CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT?!?! i mean, i really dont think thats legal to send jamon in the mail! i know my mom once tried to take it on a plane and got it confiscated.....haha BUT im not complaining!! haha so amazing!!! she also sent me a floral-patterned tote bag, with pajamas inside that MATCH the floral tote, with slippers that MATCH the floral tote AND the floral pjs! hahah! cant wait to wear them and eat my JAMON! jealous?!?!

it must be my innocent face?

im thinking i must have an innocent looking face or something?? people seem to want to play me lately! the other day i went on the metro on my way to work (in a hurry as always) and a man was standing by the map with a distressed face trying to figure out his route, i thought. then he turned to me and said, excuse me miss...do you have 40 cents? i thought...ugh, poor guy! i hate when i dont have the change i need! sooo i dug all around in my giant bag and found 40 cents (missing my train btw) and he seemed relieved and so i was happy. i thought nothing of it until the next day as i was again rushing to get on the metro i hear a now familiar voice asking if i had 40 cents...i turned around and thought, you have got to be kidding me! i looked at him and he looked at me--with no sign of recognition and goes, i just need just forty more cents to make my trip...and i go...omg! i gave you forty cents YESTERDAY! ugh! he quickly turned around and started studying the map again and i ran for the train! omg!! he totally played me!! i felt sorry for him and made myself late to give him that fricken 40 cents! so rude!! and at least be smart about it man! i mean, if he IS going to play people...dont you think he could at least go to another metro stop?? he could start a rotation or something...seriously?? the same one? the very next day?? is he kidding me?? thats just plain lazy! then yesterday when i was walking to the metro (in the SNOW i might add) a little girl..not so little, but like middle school or early high school...approached me and asked if i knew where the metro was. i pointed in the direction i was walking and she was like OH ARE YOU GOING?? CAN I WALK WITH YOU?? i mean, what was i going to say?? we were walking in the same direction...so i couldnt really say no. but like, i am always in a hurry and i dont have time to chat it up with a new friend while im freezing cold and literally turning into snowman before her eyes. buuuut of course i said sure! so we were walking and she was chatting away about how she didnt know it was going to snow, if we were close to the metro, which bus she was planning on taking, blah blah...and just when i thought, aww what a sweet girl...it happened. she tried to PLAY me! she so innocently and sweetly threw into the conversation...you dont happen to have two dollars, do you? ugh! i was like ohhhhhhhhh i see! i guess i should have seen it coming since we were literally two blocks from the metro and could probably see it from where we were standing when she asked me in the first place! haha whoops! so i was like, umm no i dont carry cash, sorry! and then she goes, oh. ok. is that the metro there? thanks...then she dashed across the street and left me in the dust! eh, at least i didnt fall for it again!! im telling you...it must be something about my face!?

coffeeeee!

as i may have mentioned before, i am a definite coffee addict. i could drink coffee at any time of day or night in any season in any weather...aaand i pretty much do. some people drink it for the caffeine, others for the fun drinks at starbucks...i drink it for the rich, delicious, comforting flavor. having a cup in hand just makes me feel better about things! this year due to my finances ...or lack thereof...i learned how to make my own coffee...yes yes its pathetic, but i didnt know how to before! i always thought it was so mysterious and complex, buuuuut its probably the easiest thing ive ever done! so yah, i now have my own coffee pot AND i also made a new amazing discovery...flavored coffee (ok ok actually full credit goes to my mom, but whatever). i am 100% obsessed! my mom keeps me stocked with all sorts of different flavors and if i am running late, like any good addict, i still get my fix at work (they have a different flavor each day...what a fun little surprise, huh?!). buuut i have realized lately that not all flavors are as friendly and delicious as some of my favs: hazelnut or snickerdoodle...for instance, my mom bought me one at christmas that was called creme brulee...doesnt it sound like a total winner?? nooooooope...apparently steep and brew doesnt know the meaning of creme brulee! i was so excited, but when i tasted it, it was definitely a little weird! so i read the package further and it said: a mix of seasonal berries and rich caramel flavor...umm...last time i checked that is NOT what creme brulee is! it was sickening! (of course i still drank it, but i wasnt happy about it!) well today i had my second flavor let down! i went to the little coffee shop at my work and ordered my usual medium drip coffee...it was only after i paid that i realized what i was paying for...cinnamon dutch apple. umm..could there be a more foul sounding flavor?? my face must have said what i was feeling because the lady next to me said...well, at least its not banana! then she walked away cackling. well, my instincts were RIGHT...it was...slash IS (yep, still drinking it...what? i have a problem!) SO SICK. maybe i should just stick to regular for a while...

im really good with languages!

when i was in spain last year, i took a trip with my girlfriends to granada. as we were riding the bus to get to the hostel, i was busy eavesdropping on a convo in front of us. then all of a sudden i was like, wait..they arent speaking english...they're speaking...flemish! and i was seriously following their conversation like i was a part of it. weird, but true...just ask my friends! so, i guess i understand flemish! then later that year i went to portugal with my sister and a lady on the metro asked me a question, in portuguese, obvi...AND AGAIN..i understood AND answered her! haha! so looks like i ALSO understand portuguese! well the other day, my language skills struck again. i went to the gym (yep, joined a gym! so fun and you get 4 free personal training sessions and a maintenance one once a month! good deal, right??) anyway, so i was going to meet my personal trainer, but he always wants me to warm up first with like ten mins of cardio. so i went into the cardio part of the gym and thought i would try the elliptical...which i usually dont do because 1. i dont like it and 2. it hurts my knee sometimes (side note-bad knee from kickboxing jic you dont know) but i thought id try it! well, two mins on the ellip and i realized..no. so i got off and got on the bike instead. then after one minute, i was bored and wanted a magazine. so i got off AGAIN...and i swear people were watching me getting on and off every other second! so i quickly grabbed a mag and got back on the bike. as i was biking and reading away, i suddenly noticed that i had grabbed vanity fair in...GERMAN! i have no idea why that was on the rack in the first place..but i felt too awkward getting up again to switch it after i had already been playing musical chairs! so i decided to just read it! ok, so i know i only know a few words in german... good morning, good night, child, and grandmother, but i seriously think i read the magazine! also..i realized im a really fast reader in german! i got through like half the magazine in TEN MINUTES! amazing, right?? so i guess i can add german to my growing list of languages! what can i say?? some people are just gifted i guess...

MOVIES!!

ok, i am normally not a movie buff (as most of you know). i always misquote movies and my favs include things like mean girls, baby boom, and the three ninjas...so yah...buuut this year i have become weirdly obsessed with seeing movies!! on my day off (i dont work mondays) i like to go see a movie..YES, by MYSELF!! soo unlike me, i know!! but its actually really nice :) anyway, ive been slowly but surely making my way through the oscar nominees/this years biggest movies! so far ive seen: doubt, slumdog millionaire, revolutionary road, the reader, milk, gran torino, and the curious case of benjamin button. i dont usually go to the movies this much and i rarely have seen any oscar picks at all, but this year...they are all so good!! i think im addicted! there are two movies that stand out above the rest: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE and GRAN TORINO!! they were both movies that i was least excited about (well beside the wrestler, but please...) but they turned out to be SO good!! if you havent seen them, i totally recommend it! also, if you have any must-sees for me...i would love suggestions :)

OH. MY. GOD.

OH MY GOD. THERE IS A MOUSE IN MY OFFICE. i was just sitting here drinking my coffee, minding my own business when all of a SUDDEN...something FAST and SMALL ran into my office!! AT FIRST i thought it was a bug...like a cockroach (because im really scared of them and i keep thinking i see them) but then i saw....A TAIL! AHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG!!! EW!! it is SO SO SICK. im DYING. i immediately called environmental services (ok after i called my mom and screamed for a little bit) and she said that the exterminator was here YESTERDAY...so she can TRY to get him back for an emergency...but it might be TOMORROW!!! OMG TOMORROW?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME LADY?? OMG, WAIT, IS IT ON ME!??!?! seriously...i think i just felt it on me. and i think i can hear it talking too. omg. my feet are on my chair. my eyes keep darting all over my office trying to spot it before it attacks me. wait..i think mice climb and im like really concerned its going to climb onto my desk and try to jump on my face. OMG. HOW WILL I MAKE IT THROUGH TEN MORE HOURS OF THIS?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! its literally sick...it was dark grey...and looked kind of...eulp..slick...ew. and it was running all over like crazy. i think it smells my fear....

here is some advice i got from a friend:

friend: QUICK, PUT A PIECE OF UR LUNCH on the ground
me: omg NO..im not going to make it my PET!
friend: well then u can catch it
me: WITH MY HANDS?!?!!
friend: get a tissue
me: hahah A TISSUE?!?? are you kidding me hahahah! i can barely kill a tiny spider with a tissue!

AHH OMG!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!????

*UPDATE* i never saw the mouse again after that day...but TODAY (2-18) the exterminator FINALLY came...are you kidding me exterminator?? 7 days later..wow! anyway, he put down traps...but i really hope little fivel has left the building!!! i really do not want to see any dead mickeys :)

i think i may have a problem...

ok so as ive said once or twice and ill probably say again..i love spain and speaking spanish! so sometimes when im alone and talking to myself..what?? oh stop, you do it too...anyway, sometimes when i talk to myself, i speak in spanish! also a lot of times i think things in spanish or when im speaking in english, i think about how to say it in spanish. i think its just a habit that i picked up living there, i dont know. buuuuut yesterday it became a problem! a woman came in looking for dr. x. she said, "hey do you know where dr. x is?" then i said, "oh, yes...shes in the room to the right, and dr. y is in there tambien" this was followed by a look of confusion and as i stuttered to try to explain myself...she finally just walked away. it was sooooo awkward! haha i dont know if she thought that i thought she was a spanish-speaker...or if she just thought i liked to show off my language skills by throwing in a word or two here and there. either way, it was a little uncomfortable and we havent talked about it since....

25 Things About Me

i got a "25 things about me" thing on facebook from a friend and it was soo good! it will def be hard to follow, but here goes nothing...here are 25 things about me...

1. i am hair phobic. this wasnt always the case though..i used to be kind of obsessed with hair (something most ppl dont know!). i used to draw my mom pictures of hairy body parts (ears, noses, etc) and i even wrote a story called "why is the hairy man so hairy" and at the end of the story it revealed i was his wife and "loved his hairiness"...why was i not in therapy??
2. going along with #1, one time i had a tiny hair in the screen of my phone...watching me, taunting me...it was awful. so i went to a phone store with my friend and made a big scene about the tiny hair and how i needed it out. in the end, that tiny hair remained with me for the life of my phone..eulp...
3. i am obsessed with post-its. i really dont think i could live without them!
4. i like to keep things in their original packaging. i dont know why..but its a problem, especially for space saving reasons...
5. i love the color pink, but i feel bad for the color purple so i always try to show it some love. you see, purple used to be my favorite color, but then i abandoned it for pink..so it makes sense that i feel bad, right?? ..wait..right??
6. once i accidentally applied for a job to teach sports and if you know me, you understand why this is a problem! i thought it was a parks and rec job watching kids...it wasnt! THE most awkward interview ever: "so, what sports experience do you have then?" "umm..lets see..i had a tennis lesson once" yahh..
7. i am realllyyy irritated by loud chewing and loud breathing (especially when either of them are done by my dad...sorry dad..)
8. i used to have a recurring dream that i wore my snow pants (the bib ones that are like full-body coverage!) to school but forgot to put anything on underneath! it was horrifying!
9. i had a really hard time learning to tell time slash i could not tell time for waaaay too long and even now i panic a little tiny bit that someone will ask me the time when im wearing a watch!
10. three things really make my head hurt: death, energy, the internet...i try not to think about these things.
11. i love abbrevs...i use them alll the time! totes, def, ppl, jk, awk...i also love nicknames and dont like calling people by their given name..i think the two go hand in hand!
12. i love collecting things. i have collected everything from key chains to purses to dolls...i even had a "fuzzy" collection once. yeeeeep, i used to pull the fuzz off of something/everything (blankets, sweaters, whatever) and ball them up and then put them in this little container in my room...again, why was i not in therapy??
13. i am obsessed with starbucks (aka esssstarbooks)...its actually a problem that i am trying to gain control of...
14. i love yoga pants and could wear them every single day!
15. i dont like taking medicine or going to the doctor...therefore those are two things i rarely do.
16. i get a bad rap for hating animals...but really i dont hate them, im just picky about the ones i like! ie. iz, harley, daisy (whoa whoa whoa, lets not get carried away...kidding, love dais!)
17. when i get excited i tend to talk a liiiittle quickly and in a pitch that only dogs can hear...
18. i really dont like when people lean against the pole in the metro. you cant take up the whole pole people! so when i see this, i try to patrol it! i jam my hand in between their back and the pole...either forcing them to move so other ppl can hold on OR having a really uncomfortable rest of the ride...
19. i have an intense hatred for rain. i do my best to stay indoors when this annoyance occurs.
20. i am obsessed with MINNESOTA and will defend it til the end!
21. i love having a clean bedroom or a clean kitchen. i just sit back, look at it, and smile! this is something i have inherited from my mom :)
22. i love nail polish and earrings...these two things make me feel put together even when i am a total mess!
23. i once had a teacher who asked me if i was gonna "wet my pants" and who thought she was going to have to "scrape me off the ceiling" upon hearing the exciting news that a paper deadline was moved...she asked me these things in front of the whole class yet sort of whispered it in my ear...it was uncomfortable. oh morgs...
24. i am a work-a-holic...i have a problem saying no and i am always overbooked! that must be why i am always stressed! love it :)
25. i claim to be an expert on many things (fisherman, tennis player, chef, etc)...in reality, i am an expert on very few things.
26. HAD to add one that i forgot....so we are doing 26 instead! i once lived in a TRAILER!! i still talk about my trailer park days as if i remember it...but really i was just a baby! haha...if we didnt move, things could have turned out verrrry different...

can i get some jamón!?!

for those of you who dont know (which is a bit surprising, i must say!) i am totally obsessed with SPAIN! i lived there last year and i love everything (ok, that might be a stretch...but almost everything!) about it! its the most amazing country and i cannot wait to go back!! what might come as a shock to a lot of you is that i even loved the food! and right now, i have the weirdest craving for some jamón!! in case you dont know what this is..which is a total shame...i'll tell you! its a typical spanish food---cured ham, its sort of like italy's prosciutto, but sometimes kind of like beef jerky--- anyway, its SO delish...i know, i know...even I am surprised i LOVE it!

lets go back to my first time in spain (like two or three years ago)...when i didnt know what jamón was either! i walked into my new house in spain for the first time and the woman who i lived with...who we called our "señoras"...brought me to the kitchen, offered me a beer, and then walked over to the counter and peeled back this thin towel and to my ABSOLUTE HORROR...under the towel was a nice...big...PIG LEG! it was even on its own special pig leg holder! it was SO sick! and at that time, i barely ate meat, so i was totally and completely horrified by the sight of it and even more horrified to see her reaching for the knife to slice me off a slab...eulp...not ok! i went through that whole four-ish months declaring my hate for jamón and never eating it again!

buuuuuuut then i went back last year and at first, pretty much the same thing happened...walked into my new house with my new señora... she too peeled back the towel to reveal the now infamous leg...then promptly told me about the high quality of this particular leg and, of course, that i HAD to try some. being the polite gal that i am i smiled my huge smile and took the fatty slab of meat that had been sawed off the leg that had been sitting out on the counter for god knows how long...and immediately...fed it to the dog (securing the dogs love for me for the rest of my days!)! then i dont know what happened? i cant really explain it and i certainly didnt plan for it! but i slowly...and secretly...denying it all the way...i started eating more jamón! at first it was just because i was too scared to say i didnt like it because its like the most popular spanish food and is literally in everything from sandwiches to salads to pizza to toothpaste flavors (haha just kidding, but i did convince someone of that once!)...but something changed...i started loving it!

anyway, yes, i know its the weirdest and sickest thing ever..but i cant help it, ok?! i love the jamón people! and i wish i had some right now!! i gotta get back to spain...asap...

hahah!

so i just went upstairs to get the mail and had an interesting trip! i get into the elevator and a man is in there. he looks at me and goes, "you've always got somethin fly on" i didnt get what he said...because i thought he said flat...so i said what and he repeated...haha then i just laughed and said thank you. then he looked at my whole outfit again top to bottom and he goes, "we got the sex and the city girl up in here...always with the fly clothes" hahah i laughed again and said, well..i try! and he goes.."you shooore do and it works" hahaha! then i go into the office where i have to get mail and this friendly doctor that i know looks up and was like..."heyyy how ya doin?! hey..well look at you. you look. thats a nice little winter ensemble you have goin on there. you have it all going on. yes, yes, you look very nice. i like that." hahah! so random! might i also add that i look AWFUL today...my clothes may be cute (grey uggs, jean skirt, black t-shirt, open over-sized grey sweater), but i have NO make-up on at all and i didnt even blow dry my hair, so its weirdly wavy/curly/really not cute! anyway, then i am on my way back downstairs and i see a gang of the spanish-speakers (side note: im obsessed with spanish and everyone who speaks spanish here knows it and i talk to all of them...they are always together and no, they are not actually a gang...) getting into the elevator...they go ARE YOU GOING DOWN?!?! (in spanish, obvi) so i ran to catch up with them and we have the conversation that we have every single time...them: hola me: hola, que tal? them: como estas (they never answer my que tal the first time..ever) me: muy bien, gracias...y tu, que tal? them: bien, trabajando....then something new...one of the quieter guys suddenly shouts out.......BIEN...CIEN POR CIENNNNNNNNN!!!!! arms raised in the air, pumping his fists...haha sooo weird! i just laughed and said bien! haha! guess he either had a really good weekend or he just loves mondays?! anyway, that was by far the weirdest mail run i have ever taken...

ew.

ew. so today i was getting my lunch together to take to work and something sick happened. i try to be very economical and healthy during the week btw...so i bring my lunch and i usually cook a bunch of things and freeze them! so smart, i know. anywayyy...so last night i took out some soup that i had frozen and put it on the counter to thaw overnight. when i picked it up this morning to put in my bag, my finger slid over something weird. the container was wet from thawing out, which was kind of already grossing me out, but then i felt something else...something...hard. i slowly and without panic glanced down at what my finger was still touching (for some reason, i kept my finger on the unknown matter)...and then i realized it was a big..black..BUG! sick! and the worst part about it was, it was one of those stupid bugs...the ones that are not scared of people, so they just hang around and are irritating. so even though i was touching it, it wasnt moving. so naturally, i screamed...then tried to like blow it off my soup! but the fricken thing wouldnt move...so i had to TOUCH it again and flick it off! sick. what a nasty way to start the day! the only comfort i get out of this bad start to a monday morning is that i probably wont be alone in my bug encounter! i know this because after i flicked the bug into the kitchen, i ran away...leaving the bug to say good morning to the other roommates! haha sorry guys!