my streak continues....

my "guys hitting on me when i look like total crap" streak continues! (you remember montie the bus driver and guys in the elevator at my work and starbucks guy...yep, all when i looked my worst...) well yesterday was no different! after i went to the gym and was all sweaty and looking nasty...TWO and a half guys hit on me! it was crazy! ONE even SAID that he was hitting on me! he said something nice and i then i politely responded and he goes, "wow, thats the nicest thing anyones ever said when i was so overtly trying to pick them up"...i was like...awkwarddd...then i got the heck out of there! and the half a guy is for the latino guy that winked at me on the way out the door :) he must have sensed i speak spanish! hah! SO CRAZY! anyway, what gives?!? when i look my worst, guys weirdly hit on me...i dont get it!

OK...im off to argentina for a week!! see you when i get back :)

xoxo

i feel bad for weird things

sometimes i weirdly feel bad for things that dont need my sympathy. for example: when i was little, my favorite color was purple. i had EVERYTHING purple..literally. you name it, i had it. but then suddenly pink came along and i became obsessed! so naturally, i now feel bad for purple. i just sort of abandoned it! its sad! right?? well today its something new. as i mentioned in previous blogs, i had dental surgery and because of that, i have only been able to eat on one side of my mouth for the past week. and its like, now i feel bad for that side of my mouth. it gets nothing! today i was eating some frozen yogurt...something soft and smooth..something the other side of my mouth might be able to enjoy too. but noooooo...it was SO cold...i seriously almost spit it out when the froyo travelled over there. so you see...its left out again!

yah, i know...i have problems.

my dentist

i have had some dental woes recently and had to get a little surgery last week and my dental surgeon was INSANE. literally.

while he was doing the procedure he was just chattering away. he was talking about his work-out class and how he plays tricks on his wife during class and gets yelled at by the teacher and then he was swearing a little. then he found out i do zumba and then he stood up and starting trying to do some zumba moves right in the middle of everything! zumba is like a latin dance aerobics class in case you dont know...so picture my dentist standing up with his gloves and mask on and like gyrating around the room! then he was making some inappropriate religious jokes and i was like...do i laugh?? do i not?? then he was like IM KIDDING!! IM TRYING TO RELAX YOU! is it working?!?? and i go uhh...no. and he starts laughing and was like uh ohhhhhhhhh she hates me! haha! he said uh oh at one point and was like where was that, oh here it is (like he was confused or something) and i must have looked alarmed so he goes, oh sorry..dont worry ive done this once or twice with like a big laugh. haha! crazy man!

so then i went back today for the post-op and he was like....hey welcome back! (hes all loud and excited...mind you, its 8am) then he goes, youre going to argentina soon, right?? then he proceeds to sing at the top of his lungs....DOOOOOONT CRY FOR ME ARGENTINAAAAAAAAA!!!!! AS he started pulling stitches out and i was like...ow, dont hurt me. and he was like, oh that doesnt hurt..come on, does it? dont be a wuss! and i was like, omg what?! and he goes...thats why dentists get a bad name because ppl expect things to hurt even when they dont and they still make ouch noises. then he turns to his assistant and goes, if she were alive in the dinosaur days, which dinosaur would she be?? (says it fast and chipper like its a quiz) and the assistant says cheerfully (almost in sing-song), a wuss-asaurous! i was like..what?!? then they both cracked up for like five minutes! haha what the heck kind of dentist did i find!?!?

good thing hes good at his job...otherwise we would have had a problem!

**one story i left out from today bc it is semi too gross to tell, but oh well--so he had to remove the stitches from my gums and i was trying to tell him that there was one more in the back. and he goes, where?? and i go..all the way in the back..the big long one!! and he goes, oh here? no no thats not a stitch, its a piece of your gum that came loose and is hanging down. i almost freaked out and go WHAAAT?!?! OMG SICK! and he chuckles and goes, just kidding, its a stitch...and pulls it out. AHHHH WHAT!? HES NUTS!

who says FELLA?!

"i got me a fella". i meeeann..who says that?!? the girl sitting across from me on the metro yesterday says it, thats who. she kept repeating over and over "i got me a fella". she was talking to her friend who seemed amused by her chattering and she just went on and on about how she doesnt know how its going to go with this fella and how the fella is making her dinner tonight and how great she finally has a fella. i was like, maybe you would have more fellas if you stopped calling them fellas. haha what a weirdo!

BRITNEY SPEARS REVIEW!

last night i went to see BRITNEY SPEARS thanks to my amazing friend with the concert ticket hook-ups! here is my review:

she. was. awful. i actually felt bad for her. i mean, the show all together was an amazing sight! i wouldnt really say it was a concert so much, as there was no real singing...it was more like a spectacular! it was a circus theme...obvi...but with like real circus ppl in it doing all sorts of freaky circus stuff...coming down from the ceiling on ropes, contortionists, stilts, rings, magic tricks...you name it, they did it. the best part of the whole show was when the dancers were featured without britney...they each did a little solo and they were all really good!! there was also some martial arts mixed in...again not by birtney...and that was also really cool. the songs were great..it was like listening to the cd on the big big speaker...literally! haha! the crowd was NUTS and there were CRAZY ppl everywhere dancing, screaming, going insane for britney! the place was PACKED...from top to bottom full. it was nuts!


now for britney...she looked like she was doing part two of the vmas (where she wore that little bikini and "danced" all drugged up)...yah, thats what she looked like. i was at least hoping for some good dancing if she wasnt going to sing, and we all knew she wasnt! but she was barely even dancing...i think in fact, i did more dancing in my last zumba class than she did all night! the back up dancers would be at a 90 degree angle and britney was at like a 10 degree angle. she would barely bend and mainly walked a weirdly slow walk around the stage the entire show in different bikinis or one-piece swim suits with sparkles and glitter. i thought when she first came out that it was going to be really cool...she was lowered down from the ceiling and it was all dramatic with lights and smoke and music and then she did a slow strut to all parts of the stage and everyone was going nuts...but then its like an hour into it and shes STILL being lowered down and STILL doing her weirdly slow walk..im like, dance already britney! it just kept reminding me of that award show. oh, and we could see her bad hair weave from our seats! it was strange...she was either doing the walk OR she was being carried in some way...whether it was on some guys shoulders, on a couch that they were pushing, on a bike (riding on the back, not pedaling obvi), in a cage, or on a swing...it seemed like she was being moved rather than moving most of the time. she really did look tired and like she needed a break from the first song to the last. i kept waiting for her to bust out some cool dance moves and sadly it just never happened! britney was tired it seemed or perhaps just a little lazy.

yet somehow the show did not disappoint! all the hit songs were "performed". she brought back some oldies...hit me baby one more time and toxic, which was fun. she also "sang" her one slow dramatic one "notice meeeeee" or whatever! haha the whole thing was such a spectacle..it was hilarious to watch her fans and to finally experience the madness that is a britney spears concert!

PS there WAS a jumbo screen...but there were only weird circus images or other bizarre images on it the entire time...never her face or any part of the show. so the people at the very top couldnt even see her...isnt that rude?!? and the weirdest thing that britney did was in one of the two parts where she actually spoke (when she shouted the obligatory "WAD UP DC"...and they BROUGHT her a new mic..wonder why she couldnt use the one she was singing from..oh yah, because it wasnt on...), she randomly yelled out "MERRY CHRISTMAS". i didnt get this at all. it was totally weird. i think she was confused. then at the very end she said the other obligatory "THANKS SO MUCH DC" and then goes, "grab your partner do-si-do, come on everyone circle up"...which again, was totally random because no one was doing it, they ran in a circle one time and then all ran off stage and she yelled "PEACE". totally weird. im pretty sure shes on some sort of drugs...

oooooonly YOU!

only you my friend, oooooonly YOU!

my friend who had that little hotel room confusion the other day (see 3-10) had another little problemo today! she sweetly came to visit me this weekend because i am having some dental issues and had to get a little surgery done and she didnt want me to be alone! so cute, right?? yep, im blessed with good friends in every direction :) anyway because of our too-sweet-for-words friendship, i am allowed to say...this situation that we are in would ONLY happen to this particular friend.

a little background...i have lived in my current house for over 8 months. i have had countless visitors in those 8 months..including this friend...and i have never had an issue with my door, door lock, or any other part of my room (ok besides all the bug issues, the bathroom flood that turned into the bedroom flood, and once getting locked out of the house with another friend and having to climb through the kitchen window...but we are not talking about my issues here, ok??!) . anyway, so no previous lock problems to speak of...in fact, i did not even know there was a lock on my door until today. while i was at work, my friend decided she would take a little napski. nice relaxing day off, take a little nap, do a little work...sounds good, right?? well my friend had a little trouble relaxing because she kept hearing "foot steps" and kept getting up to make sure "no one was there". mind you..it is mid-day in the safest neighborhood in the US! so she thought...well just to keep myself extra safe from the boogie monsters..i'll just lock the little door here while i rest my weary head. then after her delightful nap, my friend got up, stretched, and decided to go do some work in the living room. on her way out she nicely closed the door behind her (this is where she SWEARS she unlocked it first..but im gonna have to politely disagree)...locking herself out of my room.

now i wont say that i have a temper..but if you know me, you might understand her fear in telling me this information. haha! i am NOT scary..but i do like things the way i like them and if things stop being the way i like them....well, soooome people dont like to be the one to tell me! haha whatever...i think you are all nuts! BUT she didnt want to tell me...so she tried her darnedest to get it fixed before i found out! she called another roommate to ask about keys (haha yah right, none of us know we have locks on our doors), tried to bust in, tried to pick it with a hairpin...then finally..she was forced to call and break the news to me! the only thing i could say was...i have a door lock??

we are now waiting for a friends friend to come over and try to break in with a credit card...this works?!? weird! or else we are going to have to call our landlords, who im pretty sure also dont know there are locks on the door considering their weirdly limited knowledge of our house! then last resort is calling the lock smith! hahah!!

ill keep ya posted.....have a good weekend :)

that darn bus driver

welllllllll the bus driver strikes again! as i was getting off the bus yesterday (on my way home) the bus driver who had slipped me his number one time.......gave it to me AGAIN! haha! i was like, good god man, didnt you get the hint the first time???! it was so awkward because i even let out a little laugh. like, again...really?? there are a few things im wondering about our interactions...1. did he forget he gave it to me before and think i was someone new? 2. was he aware of who i was and just giving it to me again? 3. if i dont go out with him, will he continue this indefinitely? 4. if i do go out with him, will we take the bus? 5. if we do take the bus...will he be in uniform? should i get a bus driver uniform too? will he pick me up and drop me off at the bus stop and not my house? hmm...

wow. just an fyi..i did text him when he gave me his number the first time because i thought..well, this is going to be awkward next time i ride the bus! so i texted him and was like, oh hey montie...its me, from the bus...i actually have a boyfriend...but thanks anyway! haha so awkward, i know. but he immediately texted me back and said, ok beautiful, let me know when he stops treatin you right. hahah montie montie montie.

what do i do?!?!

my day

hello hello. well i started my day off with a trip to the gym! i know, hard to believe, right?? but YES i did it...its my new thing and im loving it! anyway, as i was walking to the metro, feeling good, confident, awake...BAM...i was suddenly standing face to face with a crazy woman in a dark tunnel singing some pop song (pink maybe??) in a voice deeper than my dads with like three teeth...yeeeeesh...what a way to horrify me first thing in the morning! well, i recovered from that incident and went to work. then lunchtime came and i started cutting and eating my green pepper...only to notice...on my SECOND piece...a tiny black bug trying to hide discreetly near the top...eulp. SICK. i had already eaten a slice! that little trespasser ruined my lunch! hope i didnt accidentally eat his brother!! eulp. not ok. anyway, i tossed the rest of the pepp and continued on with my day. then i was just running an errand when i ran into upside down teeth man again! he was spotted pushing tables through the hall and he smiled at me, happy as a clam with his one row of giant teeth!

thats it for now...lets see what other horrifying delights this day has to offer!! hope youre havin a good one :) xoxo

OH, i also realized (while reading my book club book "i know this much is true" by wally lamb) that its "up and at 'em"...not "up and atom"...awkward...

*UPDATE* it DID get weirder/worse as the day went on.....a little boy just came into my office. farted. said excuse me. then gave me an evil smile and walked out cracking up.......ew dude.

borrowed story

although this isnt technically my story...it did happen to a friend of mine (who, for her protection, will remain nameless) and i just cant resist :) a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine came into town for a visit. i was on my way to an appointment and she was going to drop me off and pick me up...what a good friend, i know! anyway, on the way to the appointment we stopped at starbucks (to feed my addiction) and i got my friend a giant latte and an egg and bacon sandwich. the place we were going was kind of far...and at first she was ok...but then the mixture of the eggs and the strong coffee started to...lets just say..get to her. bottom line, she needed to get to a bathroom..stat. we made it to the appt ok and she decided to suck it up and use the bathroom there...but when we walked in, we saw this just wasnt a viable option because the place was like the size of my office (which is tiny to say the least). she quickly considered her options, yelled she'd be back for me, and bolted to her car. she had a friend staying in a nearby hotel who was at work for the day, but had given her an extra key because we were going to be in the area...so she decided...ahhh an empty hotel room, spacious bathroom all to myself...the perfect place!! she got to the hotel as fast as she could, only to realize she had forgotten the room number! she remembered approximately where it was though and was in near-panic mode at this point, so she just decided rather than 1. asking the front desk which room was hers or 2. using the bathroom in the lobby...she would just try the doors all around her to find the right one. she tried one, nope. another, no again. a cold sweat breaks. third try...yes, sweet victory!! she RAN into the room, slammed the door, and ran straight to the bathroom to...do her business...anyyywayyy...then she decided as long as she was there, because my appt might last a little while, why not just take a shower?? as she was getting herself ready to take a shower, she walked out into the room and took a look around. she had been there the previous day and noted some differences...suit case in a different place, a computer on the desk...she thought to herself...hmm...must have switched the suitcase around last night...waait...did my friend have a computer in here before?? as she was in the midst of making excuses why her surroundings started to look more and more unfamiliar...she decided to peak into the bag and try to turn on the computer...when she suddenly realized...wait a minute, this isnt my friends stuff...which means this is...THE WRONG ROOM!!!!! PANIC MODE BACK ON!! MAYDAY MAYDAY...IM IN SOME STRANGERS HOTEL ROOM, I JUST USED THEIR BATHROOM AND AM NOW STANDING HERE DIGGING THROUGH THEIR BAG, OPENING THEIR COMPUTER...HALF NAKED!!!!!!! AHHHHHH! so my friend did what anyone would do...she got dressed, grabbed their computer, and got the heck out of there! hahah IM KIDDING!! she didnt take their computer, but she DID get the heck out of there! she took off running and never looked back......hahah THANKS FOR THE STORY!!! love ya!

eulp.

i just opened a drawer that has napkins in it. we call it the napkin drawer..haha just kidding, we call it the kitchen drawer, just kidding, we dont call it anything...anywaaay...there was a big blob of orange gum in it instead of napkins. it looked sort of like silly putty...but when i picked it up (what..) it was definitely gum. sick. i just touched someones big blob of nasty orange gum. wonder who would put their chewed gum in a drawer? wonder if they were saving it? wonder why i touched it...eulp.

girls on metro

so i was riding the metro today as per usual when three well-dressed mid-twenties girls get on. one has a scowl on her face...which i dont get..if you are in a bad mood, keep it to yourself sister! especially bright and early in the morning, what could have possibly happened at this hour to get you so bent out of shape?? anyway, this is the conversation that followed:

scowl girl: ugh. the metro is SO crowded. its ridiculous. (huffing and puffing and looking personally offended that so many people are on the train)
friend of scowl: oh my gawd, i know. like...why is it so crowded, i wonder?? (looks all around with confused look)
scowl girl: ugh, i have no idea. i hate it when its crowded. (more huffing and eye rolling)
friend of friend: (just kept shaking her head in agreement with a pained look on her face)

i mean...did critical thinking ever come into play here?? lets see...i wooonder why the metro is sooo crowwwded during rush hour on a workday. hmm...gosh, i just dont know...sooo strange!! haha i mean, could this be their first time riding the metro during rush hour?! NOPE because they proceeded to bitterly complain about their jobs the rest of the ride. why then were they so confused by the amount of people, i wonder? guess some people have trouble getting the brain into gear early in the morning!?