ive got issuessss

issssssssues (if you know gramboat, you know how im saying this...isssuuess issuues:) haha)! these are the things ive got! i am a total workaholic! i have my normal job during the week and then i also work on the weekend. i have a real problem saying "no" to people and so i end up working more than my allotted time fairly often. BUT i only work four days a week (for ten hours a day) at my normal job...so mondays are MY day! ive been told by my mom 1000 times to keep monday sacred. that everyone needs a day off. a day for themselves. just to relax! welllll clearly i have problems with this! when i sit at home doing nothing or doing stuff for myself..i feel guilty. i feel like im wasting the day and could be doing a million things..just not relaxing!! so i usually end up cleaning or doing boring errands or going to not-fun appointments like the dentist or the doctor! so i got a call today about ANOTHER job. i knew the call was coming. i had my answer planned out...no. its as easy as that..no. buuuut as it turns out, its NOT that easy. not when im on the phone, the pressure is mounting, i start to break into a sweat...AND BEFORE I KNOW IT, being the people pleasing workaholic that i am...... im offering up MONDAYS! ahhh! IM A NUT! its not official yet...but dont tell my mom that i think i just gave up my sacred day to take on a third job..... i need help.

dropping like flies

the saying "dropping like flies" has taken on a new meaning for me. for the past couple weeks we have had tons of flies flying all over our office (so much so that i blogged about it) but now a few weeks later...there are no flies flying but there are flies lying. it seems like everywhere i go in this place, i see dead flies on the ground. im finally understanding the saying they're dropping like flies! but its so weird. its like, im wondering if i should be worried...what the heck is in the air that is making these flies drop dead?! i dont love bugs..in fact, i dont like them at all..wellll lately thats not entirely true. i do have a soft spot for bees, ants, and worms...what?! bees and ants are really really smart...and ants are like really hard workers! i look at them hard at work all in a line and im so proud of them! and worms...well, if i pass a worm that seems to be stuck in a dry spot on the sidewalk..i cant help but scootch it back to some nice moist soil. the alternative is just too sad...to die by drying up!??! horrifying! ok ok, yes, clearly i have issues...buuut you know, whats knew?! haha! anyway, ive found myself feeling sort of bad (and being a little scared about what im breathing in) for these flies that seem to have died mid-flight. poor little guys.

couch sleeper

i am a total couch sleeper. if i had to choose between a bed and a couch, it would be a couch any day. my favorite thing to do is fall asleep on the couch and then be woken up or wake up late in the night and scoot to my bed. i dont know why?? it means broken sleep, it means moving after youre comfortable, and most importantly it was really irritating for my family growing up and all the friends ive lived with thus far...always having to wake me up and trying to make me move. i cant explain it, i just like it! haha! so i was on the couch last night watching dancing with the stars...embarrassing, i know. i dont usually watch it, but have caught the last couple episodes...anyway, so i fell asleep as per usual and my phone rang. another little issue i have is talking in my sleep and pretending im not sleepy and totally normal...another irritant for my family and friends! i will clearly be sleeping, then be woken up and start talking crazy talk all the while insisting im fine and fully aware of the situation and actually getting upset when i hear otherwise (and completely denying it the next day, of course). yet i always sound totally insane and am usually talking about nonsense. once i even waved at a balloon thinking it was my friend who left about an hour earlier. when my sister called me out on it i obviously got irrationally mad at her :) so ok, back to last night...i was sleeping on the couch and my phone rang. i reached over (in my sleep) and picked it up but didnt say anything. then i partially woke up to someone saying my name over and over and are you there..are you there?? hello?? by then i sort of came to...looked at the phone i was holding like it was a piece of space junk that just fell into my living room...i could hear my friend talking and knew full well who it was, yet looking down at the phone in my hand i was somehow totally confused. so i did what anyone would do (right?!)...quickly hung up the phone without saying anything at all. no explanation, no nothing! i just hung up on my poor friend! obviously she called me right back and i answer in as cheerful and awake voice as i can manage (although she definitely knew i had been sleeping)!! my friend immediately goes, "hi, sorry are you sleeping?" i go, "no, no, im fiiiine (like ross on friends...im fiiiiiiine). whats up??" clearly far too high pitched and still mildly insane sounding. she knew the truth. told me she would call me tomorrow and to go back to sleep....she saw right through me! hahah what can i say...i love the couch sleepin!!

benjamin button

ok so i think that i might have actually seen the REAL benjamin button...no, im not kidding and no, i didnt like that movie. the reason i didnt like it was because i just couldnt get past the story..like, it was too unbelievable and i couldnt let myself go and get into it. i kept being like, ew dude. anyywayy...now that i had a run-in with THE benjamin button..i might be singing a different tune! i was at starbucks a few days ago (obvi) and while i was sipping my half-caf, nonfat, grande latte i noticed a mom and her son walking. the boy was pretty cute and it wasnt until her turned around that i noticed that he had...a bald spot. like, i kid you not...a total bald spot. perfect circle right in the middle...just like grandpas. i have worked with kids for a long time but i have neeeever seen anything like this! has anyone ever heard of this?? i was seriously in shock! i tried to get a closer look to see if he had wrinkles or thick glasses like in the movie..but no such luck. and it didnt look like hair loss from like a disease or alopecia or anything...because he had a full head of hair everywhere else...it was just a perfect bald spot. so, if no one's ever heard of this...then im thinking...i really did see the real-life benjamin button! i am now a believer and will now stop knocking the movie.

i need to stick to my guns!!

lately i have been criticizing weird behavior and then doing that very same behavior soon after...do i have a problem!??! first i said it was totally weird that people go to the gym at like 6am (some even earlier!). i was like, oh those gym freaks who are there all early blah blah...theeeen before i knew what was happening..i BECAME one of them!! haha! then just the other day i was saying how it was weird to post comments on ppls blogs that you dont know...then today i did it. i read something and just felt like i had to comment! ahah! right after i did the deed i confessed to my friend and was like..i think i may or may not have a problem!! AHH WHATS NEXT?!?!? i need to get a handle on this :)

the bag lady

i was just reading someones blog who was talking about lugging a bunch of stuff around each day and i can toootally relate. i literally feel like a bag lady most days!! i seriously have SO MUCH STUFF with me at all times..its not ok. i carry my gym bag, my purse, and a food bag (with breakfast, lunch, and a piece of fruit for snack)....some days i add in a yoga mat, a coffee, an umbrella, or a book and i literally can barely get my metro card out in time! yep, im the irritating person holding up the line to get into the metro juggling 10 million things trying to find the dang card! haha! sorry people! i seriously need to figure out a way to make things easier so i am not constantly lugging my life around!! any suggestions?!? (oh yah, here is a pic of me on my way to work...that anti-aging cream is really working!!)

SYTYCD!!!!!!

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE starts IN ONE WEEK!!!!!!!!! THURSDAY, MAY 21st!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! i am obsessed with this show and you should be too!! i have watched the past two seasons and even saw them live once!! it was so amazing..i was sitting at the edge of my seat the entire time, taking pictures and screaming like the psycho fan i am! hah! so fun! OH and before you ask, NO it is NOT like american idol!! the people CAN actually dance..whereas in american idol, many of them cant even sing! but sadly, YES they still do that irritating beginning where they show all the fools in auditions who cant dance. ugh, i hate that part! anywayyy...so amazing!! anyone who is anyone will be watching it :) will you??!

the blog world

people are a little strange sometimes in the blog world..ok, ppl are just strange in general. but it seems that in this electronic age...ppl feel like they are somewhat hidden or protected by their computer screen. because you cant see them, they are allowed to say whatever they want...things they probably wouldnt normally say (especially to a stranger!). thus, the mean blog comment was born. what in the world would possess someone to make a mean comment?? its so weird. its like, no one asked..you dont know them...just dont say anything at all. its totally bizarre.

i thought of this most recently when one of my friends who writes a food blog wrote about a new bar (like a nutrition bar) that she tried...and some weirdo that she doesnt know wrote: "The Gnu bar is tasty, but pricey. Guess you got money to burn." hahah like, really??? that is the weirdest comment to make!! there is just no need to say anything at all! hah!

at least this comment was pretty mild, ive seen and heard of other really nasty ones and i just never quite understand it. i guess it all just boils down to the fact that people are really really weird.

sometimes people or groups weirdly seem to have a problem with me!?

there are some people or groups of people that seem to be irrationally against me. it started while i was in college with the post office. every single package i got or any letter i received was ripped, torn, bent, dirty...it was awful! one time i remember going to the "package room" with a friend and we looked in and saw the piles of boxes and there was one that was totally destroyed...things popping out, cardboard all mutilated. well i started making fun of the package and laughing until i gave them my name and then to my horror...they went and got the very package that i was mocking. how embarrassing!! the computer gods have also got a problem with me. no matter how careful i am (and if you know me, you know i am very very careful..to the point of a problem..with all of my things!) my computers seem to break. brand new computer...viruses, wont turn on. next computer...fan burned it up and totalled it. after months and months and months of fighting with the computer geeks (literally...geek squad) and their higher powers...i fiiinally got a new computer. have barely used it. go on the internet maybe once or twice a week..JUST downloaded itunes after about 8 months of having it. dont even have word for goodness sake! tried to use it today...wont work. geez! those computer gods have it out for me for sure! as if that wasnt enough...i now have a new enemy!! amazon.com. yeeeeep they hate me. irrationally, of course. totally weird, yes. but they hate me all the same. i ordered my first book with amazon a few months ago and it took over a month to get to me. by the time it came, book club was over. my friends informed me this was totally abnormal and it must have been a fluke. well now we order the books together...one of my friends ordered it last time...and of course, there was a problem with the order! (mind you..she had never had a problem before!). i thought...is it me?! nooo couldnt be. well now another friend ordered a book for me and THIS one is not coming either. im telling you, amazon does not like me! for some reason..no matter how cautious i am, no matter how much respect i have for the postal service and the computer gods...some people out there are just going to have a problem with me!! weird!

shameless singers

as we all know we are not allowed to just walk around singing our hearts out...even if we have THE best song ever in our heads or just some catchy jingle...we have to keep it locked up. right?? right. welllll lately it appears that some people have forgotten this unwritten rule! i was on the metro yesterday and this guy just starts singing OUT LOUD to his ipod...like..dude..thats not allowed. and he did it like it was totally normal. and the thing is, no one around me seemed to find it odd...or perhaps in this crazy polite society we live in (you know, everyones afraid to cross the impolite line or forget one of those unnecessary thank yous--see 2/27 post...nope, dont know how to put in a link bc i know nothing about computers..if you can teach me, that would be cute!!) anyway, perhaps everyone was just too worried to look horrified, so instead everyone pretended it was totally normal. but it wasnt. clearly! so metro man just kept on rocking out and we all had to just sit there listening to it! then today i was in the bathroom and a lady walks in just singing away. loud and proud singing her jam. ugh! there are TWO ladies down here who are always singing. some people might think, aww..thats so nice! what pleasant people...always singing a little tune! no dude...thats not sweet or nice, thats just irritating! keep it to yourself!! haha whoaa...am i in a bad mood today?!?! it must be this lack of sun...HAPPY FRIDAY PEOPLE!! xoxo

rain rain go away...

literally cannot take any more rain...this is what my hair looks like on the daily because of this humid weather! im tellin ya...clown head is NOT conducive to living a normal life. no one can take me seriously looking like this, kids on the street come up to me wanting to hear jokes, and yes, ive grown an awkward white bald spot on top of everything.... its been an awkward couple of weeks! when will this rain stop so i can stop looking like bozo?!

skinny bitch

hello hello! i just started reading the book skinny bitch by rory freedman and kim barnouin and so far, its pretty darn good! it is written in a really rude in-your-face way...which sounds irritating, but is actually really funny! its all about nutrition, myths about diets and food, and recommendations for a healthy lifestyle. so far its really interesting and im learning a lot! some of the stuff they say, i will take with a grain of salt...ie. they say that drinking coffee is a disgusting habit and i should chuck it in favor of green tea...while this may be true...it is nooot going to happen for obvious reasons (ie the thirst). also their hatred for meat...while i dont love meat, i wont give it up completely! BUT they do make many other really good points, for example: aspartame. they have a big long section on aspartame and the history of how it came to be in our food and drinks...and i have to tell you: its SICK!! this product was sooooo controversial and failed to pass FDA standards EIGHT times until it was finally approved and even then it was surrounded by a storm of scandal! its all about money and its just not ok. i have heard a million times before that aspartame is awful for you and can cause cancer and all and i have gone back and forth with whether or not to consume it...but now im DEF back to NOT. there are other non-sugar sweeteners (agave nectar or stevia for example) or i would rather just eat real sugar...because aspartame is just bad news.

anyway, ill keep you posted on any more interesting tidbits from the book....have a good one!!

what the?

my new favorite thing to say: what the? i got it from our last book club book, extremely loud and incredibly close by Jonathan Safran Foer. one of the first chapters is called "what the" and its all about this kid who says and does totally bizarre things and says everyone is probably thinking, what the? and then when he hears weird things or something he doesnt understand hes always saying, what the? haha its so cute!! so now i started it and its my new favorite thing!! so if you want to be in with the cool new slang...start using it asap!!

my bathroom friend

i have a bathroom friend here at work. we are JUST friends in the bathroom...yet each time we see each other we are sooo excited about it! although we say the same exact thing every time:

HEEEY. HOWS IT GOIN? followed by:
a. GOOD
b. HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?
c. ITS FRIDAY (we only saw each other on fridays for a while)
d. ITS RAINY
e. BUSY BUSY
then we end with: ok, good to see you! see you soon! or HAVE A GOOD ONE!

thats it. every time. but we love it...we smile and cheer when we see each other and are best best bathroom friends! hah! i never see her anywhere else...except maybe in the hall on the way to the bathroom or coming out the bathroom door. this is where we slap each others back and say HEY! and continue on with the above conversation! haha! so weird.

weirdos are totally drawn to me...

i went to my old school yesterday to pick up some transcripts and of course, i had a weirdo run-in. i swear, it seems that the most normal, every day outing somehow always turns into some crazy experience for me! so here goes: i went to the registrars office and filled out the form to get transcripts and the girl who is helping me walks away as im writing and then reappears all chipper and saying "yessssssss...YES!" i was like, hmm...clearly just celebrating out loud, but hopefully not directed at me. then she looks at me and goes, "yesss IM SO EXCITED!!" i was like, yah? and she goes "SIGN LANGUAGE CLASSES. FREE SIGN LANGUAGE CLASSES!" im like, ookk...wait, were we in the middle of a conversation that i missed the beginning of?? so i just nod along and smile...casually holding out my form, hoping she takes it so i can get the heck out of there. then she is typing away on her computer and she looks up at me, "so do you think rosetta stone really works??" i, who am really no authority at all and know nothing concrete about rosetta stone, go "yes! definitely! totally...they use it in government organizations and everything!" she smiles and looks back down at the screen mumbling to herself (or possibly to me...still unknown), "mondays wednesdsays fridays, ok, classes, then work, ok tuesday and sunday, ok...trails off, wednesdays finals, ok if i go there..trails off again." im standing there...confused...wondering 1. why im still holding the paper with my order and 2. is this mumbling stranger talking to me?? then she looks up again and smiles all excited, "FREE! NO MONEY! free sign language classes!" hmm clearly she was not happy with my original response of polite smiling and nodding, but wants a real response and then she'll take my paper. so i go, "oh yah? cool! why?" and she says simply, "because i want to learn sign language." kind of like..duhh...so then i take this awkward pause to quickly hand her my form while she continued mumbling about schedules, classes, work, etc and then looks up and smiles huge and was like, "its going to be an hour. do you want to wait here or are you going to go and come back?" i said quickly, "go and come back DEF"..imagine staying with her for a whole hour chit chatting about rosetta stone! all i wanted to do was go in, fill out the paper, leave, and come back for my order...why do i always end up in these weird situations?! maybe im too nice?? should i just have cut her off immediately after her first weird comment?? hmm dont know what the answer is for me...

wedding bells

why do people say "do i hear wedding bells??" when they think someone is about to get married?? i just asked my friend and i said, "do i smell wedding cake??" i think this is much more appropriate since i dont actually have any memory of bells at weddings. even if there ARE bells at weddings...is that what people really remember or think about?? i dont think so. i think that expression should change. do i smell wedding cake?? could def be a contender for its replacement. right??

eulp

omg im going to vom: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ccaviness/2625223578/
.

Yoga

i have gotten into yoga this year (in case you are wondering, yes that is a picture of me! i know, impressive, right?? what??) anyway, since starting yoga i have discovered a couple of things: 1. yoga is harder than i expected it to be and 2. i am not at all flexible. i went to class this morning...and i havent been in a little while...and they have us relaxed, stretching, breathing. the teacher is instructing us through different moves and the early ones are pretty easy, but weirdly this is where i have the most trouble. she first tells us to put our legs straight out in front of us (we are sitting on the mat) and then go into a forward bend. i see the rest of the class gracefully bend forward...backs straight, holding onto the bottoms of their feet, totally in half like a pencil...then i look over in the mirror and see my position. hmm...its a tiiiny bit different than the others. instead of being graceful, im clearly struggling and trying not to make a grunting noise. and bending forward...well...that would be an exaggeration. actually i was sitting at like a 90 degree angle and weirdly trying to reach my hands forward. when i do this, my back sort of hunches over...she instructs us to keep those backs straight...so i un-hunch and again am sitting straight up. so everyone else is flat...and im weirdly up. the teacher looks over and shes like, ease down slowly...breath...a little further...ease down. im like...eh, ugh, hugh...reeeachh...come ooon..im sure i can at least graze a toe with one of my fingers...and literally not moving a muscle. haha SO embarrassing!! through the rest of the class, i just try my best to keep up...im better with the other poses and stretches...but when it comes to bending flat and reaching your toes...forget about it! nothing like a little shame and embarrassment first thing in the morning! hah oh well...at least im trying, right?!