a second time for everything??

omg so i guess i jinxed myself or something with the last post...bc it appears my luck with the cops has DEFINITELY run out!! i was on my way home from the gym yesterday...all worked out, had a pretty good day, feeling good about things..until i get a call from my mom. usually thats a good thing, a little catch-up sesh, a little goss...but noooooot when her tone sounded like it did...four words you really never want to hear at the start of a convo: we need to talk. uh ohhhhh instantly a million things come into your mind! i was like, oh god..what happened?? heres the convo that ensued:

mom: you know red light cameras?
me: yes, obvi...oh no..
mom: have you heard of speeding cameras??
me: oh god
mom: yeahhh....i got a little letter today from the police saying I was speeding in YOUR city two weeks ago...
me: oh god...(nervous laughter)...how fast...
mom: not appropriate honey...first you get pulled over for a wrong turn, then you get pulled over for another wrong turn and get a TICKET, and now a speeding ticket?? 46 in a 35 is NOT ok dear! you need to pull it together!
me: mom! you dont understand!! eeeeeveryone speeds here..its like, you cant go the right speed limit or you are a hazard! people will pass you and honk...you basically have to speed!
mom: it comes with a picture hun...and you are literally the only car on the road....
me: oh. (more nervous laughter) uhh...well i must have been speeding to get to class!! thats it...i was toootally late for class!
mom: its time and date stamped dear....SATURDAY at 1pm.
me: (geez, cant a girl catch a break! every possible excuse shot down! throw me a fricken bone here!) oh man...umm...uhh...maybe i was on my way to study??
mom: nick, stop speeding. stop getting in trouble with the police. just be good, please.

whooooooooops! sorry mom! haha...

have a good day all....and if you happen to be a cop reading this..please leave me alone!

PS sooo not a fan of the cameras everywhere...i seriously feel like im in the book 1984! gosh, i cant speed, i cant run red lights...whats next?? hahah..seriously though..hate them, totally not fair!

theres a first time for everything...

wellllllll it finally happened...after 5 (maybe 6?) times being pulled over...i FINALLY got a TICKET! AHHHHH!!! was it speeding, you ask?? NOPE! running a red light?? NO AGAIN. a normal reason??? nooope...its me people...nothing normal about it! i got pulled over for.....making a left turn when there was some tiny sign that was barely even legible and totally blocked by trees and there was a bird sitting on it so i couldnt even have seen it if i had wanted to (fine, i actually never saw the sign, so its tough to say...) that apparently said "no left turns between x and x hours". i clearly dont know what those hours are as i never saw this alleged "sign", but apparently we were within those fricken hours! anywayyyy...i made the turn safely (and totally unaware that i was becoming a criminal), kept driving, went past two or three stop lights, pulled into campus (i was on my way to class to take a quiz), went half-way through campus...which is BIG...and THEN i was pulled over. make sense?? NOPE! seriously?? like ten minutes later theeeen he decides to pull me over?? in front of the whole school?? inappropriate. now, normally in these situations, i tend to cry (some call it hysterical...i call it a tear or two) and be all pitiful, usually resulting in an irritated cop, a stern talking to, and a warning. this time...i just couldnt get it together because i was seriously so confused as to why i was being pulled over in the middle of campus. everything happened so fast, i didnt even have time to use my stellar negotiating skills...and my tears...to help me out of the situation. he argued with me about me having the proper paperwork and then told me that i was wrong about what state my license plates were from...my state...clearly i know...so he looked at them with his flashlight and confirmed i was right (duh) and then peered into my car..he like thought i was a criminal?! then he barked at me to stay in the car and took literally 20+ minutes to contemplate whether or not to give me a ticket. finally he comes back and goes, heres your NINETY DOLLAR TICKET ma'am...what the?? for making a turn at an incorrect hour?? not ok. i have NO prior offenses...i was being so safe during the turn i was practically a grandma...im from another state and clearly didnt see the sign...and i was not even crying or being rude or arguing or anything! and he repays me with my first ever ticket?!? SO RUDE! i seriously cannot believe that i have never been pulled over for speeding, but have been pulled over for not having my lights on, going around a bus in the bike lane, and now making an illegal turn. what the heck is with my luck?! oh and at the end of the little ticket-giving ceremony he tried to be all cheery and nice...ummm i dont think so buddy. we are not going to be friends after you just gave me a $90 ticket in the pouring rain (oh, forgot to mention i was in my least favorite of the elements at the time too!)...so i just rolled up my window and turned on my car as he was saying have a nice night! so rude. still debating whether or not to try my luck in court to get my fine reduced or maybe he wont show up and it will just be dismissed?? ill let you know what i decide.....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!! xoxo

keen sense of direction

clearly the title of this blog does not describe me...as i have mentioned before, i have a very poor sense of direction (to say the least). well people, it happened again...i got totally and utterly lost...going HOME!! to be fair, i have only lived here for like a month or so and i have actually been doing a pretty good job of driving places (that i go every week, same route, same time...yes, clearly i have many issues...) without my GPS. this is difficult for me as i have grown accustomed to seeing the ETA of my trips and my speed, etc. but i realize its a little ridic to keep using my GPS every day to get to work...sooo i have decided to try to learn my way without it! as i said, im getting better every week...first, i made it home from school without it! then, i made it to school from work without it! THEN i made it home from my old stomping grounds, to my new digs, which was a fete because my sister was in the car with me and there was added pressure..i even tried to turn on the GPS at one point and she restrained me....and i did it!! welllll i think that may have been the point where i got a little too cocky. because yesterday as i was making that same exact trip (one day later), i was like, ive got this, no problem, did this yesterday! patting myself on the back, congratulating too soon...welllllll then i was driving...and driving...and driving some more. and then i realized...i dont remember it being this far...in fact, nothing about this drive looks at all familiar. did i pass my exit?? nooo, couldnt have! im on top of things! then i thought..oh god, i passed my exit. as i scrambled to get out my GPS i realized that i really had no clue where i was! once the GPS finally acquired satellite...i surveyed the damage. i had driven at least 20-25 mins out of my way. wow. i think thats a record people! back home i always used to end up at the airport...i know, it sounds weird..but the airport was east and i lived west and i just could never get that darn direction straight so i continually went the wrong way (in fact, as i think about it now..i cant be sure that the airport is not actually west and i live east...tough to say..). needless to say, i dont have time to be driving 20 minutes out of my way as my life is insanely busy at the moment. so i guess you can imagine that i was pretty irritated at myself. but then i realized, whats done is done..i just had to turn around and get back on track and being mad just going to make it worse. i thought about the situation and almost had to laugh at myself because my sense of direction just never fails! fricken cocky attitude...i should have just stuck with the GPS....that'll teach me!!

xoxo

i dont get it

as i have recently become a driver in a place where i have lived for like 6 years yet through those years i have been metro bound or on foot...both of which i actually miss and were more simpler times (well, most of the time...grocery shopping was weird...) anywayy, its a different world for me now that im a driver! i am trying to learn how things work here, but clearly i am having some issues. first and foremost, finding my way around...if you know me, you know that i have little to no sense of direction! i still get lost in my hometown for goodness sake...so finding my way around here is no easy task. even now that i have a gps...i STILL get lost! what?? sometimes that little british lady inside there just isnt clear!! haha times havent changed much...different location, same serious issues! hah! anyway, the other thing thats different here are the red light cameras...we dont have those where im from, so we like to speed up and rush through the yellow/red lights...well, nooooooot here...not with those pesky little cameras all over the place! i also learned what the HOV lane is today...was riding in that baby for about 15 minutes and when i finally realized i shouldnt be there, i like could not figure out how to exit for some reason! haha suuuchh issues, i swear!! but lately there is something else thats been on my mind and i just really dont get it: the speed radars. now, i am a citizen of the law and i mind the rules (well, within reason...i have been known to speed a little in my day and do forget to turn my lights on at times...yeahhh...), so when i see the sign "speed limit X, radar enforced" i get SCARED and i feel like, omg big brother is watching and i need to follow the rules! so naturally i slow down...but the problem is...no one else does! seriously there is one zone that i keep going through that is 35mph radar enforced...yet literally everyone is going at least 50mph. im like..wait..what the?? are you all not reading the sign?? RADAR ENFORCED, PEOPLE!! THEY'RE WATCHING US!! so i get all panicky and try to slow down, but then everyones whipping past me and giving me dirty looks for driving like a grandma, so then i speed up...but then the panic starts up again bc i think the radars are going to catch me so i slow back down!! ahh its a vicious cycle! so i guess basically what i dont get is, when they say that the speed is "radar enforced", yet everyone is speeding...what do they do?? are they giving all of us tickets or what?? is it written just to scare us?? i seriously dont get it. if anyone can shed some light on this, it would be much appreciated! otherwise...i will continue the panic-slow-speed-panic-slow cycle that i am currently working and hope for the best! wish me luck!!

metro tales

i was back on the metro today...ive been driving recently, so its been a little while. looks like times have not changed and the metro is just as crazy as ever. not only did i have TWO giant bags...which is totally inappropriate for morning rush hour time...but i was also accosted by a crazy man! i was riding along, minding my own business when a crazy man barged onto the metro. i immediately knew he was a crazy man because he was all upset and muttering to himself (it seemed). It turns out, he was actually crazy AND aggressive and i was lucky enough to be standing right next to him :) he kept yelling (not like super loud, but because it was morning and no one else was talking, it was sort of loud) at the guy next to him, who was listening to music and either did not hear him or was ignoring him...but he kept saying, "stop touching me. i keep moving away and you keep moving. stop touching me. stop." all angry and aggressive. i was like, oh great, are we gonna have a problem here?? then, because he was a crazy shouting man, people were sort of staring at him and he got all upset at that. he started yelling at another guy going, "what are you lookin at?? what ARE you lookin at?? you with sugar in your hair" i know, what the?? the other guy just sort of looked away awkwardly and but the crazy man kept going, "why you lookin at me...all these women around and you lookin at me! fool. why arent you lookin at her" it was here that i somehow got involved as he pointed to me when he said it. i just weirdly looked away and pretended i didnt see him pointing at me, but then he started talking to me, "whys he lookin at me, dont you think you betta lookin than me??" i just shrugged and looked at the ground. haha awkward as ever. then he points at me and goes (SO LOUDLY), "you know who you look like?? caroline kennedy! anyone ever told you that before?? you look like CAROLINE KENNEDY! THATS WHO YOU LOOK LIKE! CAROLINE KENNEDY!" i was like, omg, stop! first of all, i look nothing like caroline kennedy, second, EVERYONE was then staring at me AND the crazy man! haha soo awkward!! i just laughed a little and was like, "nope, never heard that one" and goes, "REALLY!? you look just like her...wait..are you her??" haha i was like, wait...crazy man..are you kidding?? but i wasnt sure, so better to be safe than sorry, i decided to put his mind at ease and said, "no, im not". he goes, "good bc caroline kennedy was stalking me. all the kennedys were stalking me" and thaaaaats when it sealed the deal that the crazy man was in fact a crazy man...it also made me want to move further away from him. haha! i did finally get a seat and moved away from him, just in the nick of time too...because thats when he started talking about how things were so much better in Pluto (yes, i think he meant the planet)....

interesting morning! hah HAPPY FRIDAY!! have a great labor day weekend :)

xoxo

ew dude

ew, for the record, in case anyone is confused..you CANNOT brush your hair while sitting on a bus full of people. thats just not ok. especially if there is a person sitting DIRECTLY next to you. ew dude. the bus i catch to work arrived late this morning so there were tons of ppl waiting and it was a packed situation. we all piled on, sitting two by two and the next thing i know a girl a few seats in front of me starts brushing her looong hair practically in the face of the girl sitting next to her. ew!! the girl kind of turned her head to the side and looked a little awkward. the nasty brush girl was not even a nice discreet hair brusher...she was like a child! going to town, flicking her hair every which way. sooo not ok. i seriously would have vommed.

so this is just a general announcement...wildly brushing your hair in tight quarters with strangers=never an option!

have a great day :)

xoxo

policeman trickery

i was driving home from yoga this morning on a road that is 35 mph and i looked in my rear view mirror to see a cop driving behind me. i dont have very good luck with those guys...so when i see them, i get a little panicky and really try to be the best driver possible (which yes, i realize i should always be...but its tough when you are putting on mascara and singing to the music and trying to watch the gps all at the same time!). so anyway, i put down my latte (what?? its fiiiine to drive a stick shift car with a latte in hand early in the morning when you are not quite awake yet..noo problem..) and focused on the task at hand. i checked my speed...right around 35...looking good. then all of a sudden, the cop started gaining on me! i was like, hey buddy, mind the speed limit! but he kept doing it and so i sped up a little, but pretty soon he was tailgating me..like super close, like maybe he was going to try to bump me or something! so i sped up a little more, but then got a little nervous, because there i was speeding with a cop literally on my bumper! then i thought..oh god, maybe he's tricking me!! maybe hes like forcing me to speed so that he can pull me over! omg. so i quickly slowed back to the speed limit and he came up super close to me again. it was a total catch 22!! luckily my turn came up, so i got the heck out of there! trickster cop or just a cop who doesnt follow the rules of the road?!?! YOU DECIDE!!

happy weekend :)
xoxo

times are tough...

i was driving home yesterday at around 12:30pm when i saw a man walking along the edge of the freeway under a bridge. i thought...what in the heck is that man doing walking along the freeway under a bridge!??! he was wearing a backpack and what looked to me like nice suit pants, nice shoes, and a shirt. then i thought maybe he was walking to get lunch on his break from work and weirdly took a wrong turn and ended up on the freeway!? not sure. anyway, i was sitting at the light and creepily watching this man when all of a sudden he stops at a corner, opens his backpack, and whips out a sign asking for food or money. im like WHAT THE?! literally he looked like a businessman on a lunch break....wait...was he?? are times getting so tough that he wanted to make a little extra money on his lunch break or have the rest of someones sandwich instead of stopping off at subway?!?!

darn this economy!!

elevator tales

daily elevator rides can definitely have the potential for awkward situations. ellen (who i am obsessed with btw...watch her stand-up, she is amazing) does a bit on elevators and how awkward they can be. its a tiny space, you are with a stranger, you stand in silence (which for me is always awkward silence) or someone tries to make awkward elevator small talk (which is tough because you never know how long each rider will be staying..so you must be smart in your choice of mini-convo and allow it to end quickly when necessary..nothing worse than the elevator doors closing and two ppl are trying to quickly finish their convo as the doors get closer and closer with one person on either side of the closing doors and all the other riders are secretly hoping one of them doesnt decide to throw a hand in causing the doors to pop back open, thus surely causing someone in the elevator to be late to a meeting or a lunch or a party or an appointment or...oops im babbling, sorry, ill stop)...etc. aaanyway, i was rushing for the elevator yesterday and just as it was about to close, it opened again. there was a security guard inside and she heard me coming and held it for me. so nice, right?? well as it turns, maybe she wasnt actually being nice, but just didnt want to ride alone! so the doors closed and i said thanks (for holding the door, obvi) and she smiles. then we start our ride and she starts fiddling with a candy or something. and then she turns to me and goes "i gotta eat a mint". hmm..i thought, well thats nice..but i didnt really ask. so i just go, "oh" and smile. then she continues..."yah, had me a submarine sandwich...you know...onions..." i was like, umm...i mean, what do you say to that?? haha i just laughed and go, "well then, i guess a mint is definitely in order". then it was my stop and as i stepped out i heard her cracking up as the doors close. haha totally weiiiird and totally the kind of situation that oddly enough, i find myself in very often!! clearly i didnt ask for any details of her eating schedule or her need for mints...but it really seems like sometimes ppl just have the need to tell me the weirdest thing...or maybe she just had really bad onion breath that, because of my bad nose, i couldnt smell, and perhaps she was just trying to explain it away as we were in a rather tiny space and i guess if it was as bad as she thought, it could have been offensive. hmm..dont know.

have a good one! xoxo

heard on the bus

i was riding the bus today and two ladies were practically SCREAMING as they were having their morning chit chat. now, i dont blame them because if i had a friend to ride the bus with, i would def be chit chatting and i have def been known to be a scream-talker...so thats fine. buuuut if you are going to scream, then you must remember that everyone around you is listening (even if they dont want to, because you are screaming, they are forced and probably dont like you)! anyway, these ladies were screaming about this and that, weekend plans, job stuff...pretty standard gossip. and then one complimented the others dress. heres how the convo went:

lady 1: i like your dress. very pretty!
lady 2: thanks! i got it at dress barn (note-never admit to buying something at dress barn--awful name and embarrassing to say...make something else up or omit store name!)
lady 1: oh wow! ive gotta get over there (probably thinking..ew, dress barn!?). i like that style of dress, it really works for me.
lady 2: yah, i know...i like how it hangs and is not tight.
lady 1: oh, well you are pretty slim! you dont have to worry! (sounds normal so far, right?? wait til the next one..)
lady 2: no no, ive got this big tire that im trying to work off.........

ummm...there are many things wrong with this sitch: #1. if you have a tire-like belly--DO NOT bring attention to it!! #2. if you have a big belly...dont call it a TIRE! haha! not ok! and #3. if you would like to both call attention to your big belly and call it a tire...then do so in private with your bffs...nooooot to the entire bus! soo awkward!!

anyway, i got a little chuckle out of it this am! dont forget to watch sytycd tonight!!

have a good one :) xoxo

metro tales

old man is sitting next to girl in her twenties.

old man: what stop are we at? (not only do they announce it, he just has to look out the window, but ok, im not judging)
girl: smiles. politely says name of stop
old man: how did you decide on that color? (an obnoxious bright blue polish on her toenails that i, of course, had already noticed)
girl: chuckles. i thought it was funny. chuckles more.

she thought it was funny?? thats seriously why she picked her toenail color?!

too weird.

tales of the metro

ok, so i know i talk about the metro a lot in my blog...but the thing is, i spend a large amount of my time on the metro, so a lot happens to me, ok?? today the escalator was broken so we had to walk down the giant escalator...and luckily for me, someone on my escalator was lugging a big suitcase...so it was clogged with about 30 angry metro riders cursing out the slow person with the huge luggage who kept stopping every few steps and making us all late. i felt kinda bad for him and wanted to point out that there is in fact an elevator for those lugging luggage..but thought better of it when i saw his angry sweaty face...anywayyy...then i was rushing trying to catch the train that, of course, pulled out of the platform as i arrived. as the platform filled up with people the next train approached. everyone crowds next to the doors trying to be the first ones on to find a seat or a good place to stand. anyway, i was waiting patiently and politely for people to get out before i ran on, but it was like a clown car let out...tons and tons of people just kept flooding out! i was waiting by the door with two other guys and all of a sudden we hear the beep and the door starts closing. one of the guys dives through and the doors close on half his body until he wedges himself through at the last second leaving me and the other guy in the dust! i was like, wait, what?!? what just happened?? i waited for the train, for people to get out, then missed the train! its not like there were 100 people trying to get on at that door..it was three of us for goodness sake! it was so weird. so i looked around thinking..wow, that train must have been packed and many people must have not made it on. nooope. literally it was me and this curly haired old guy just standing all by ourselves on the platform. no one else. i think i even saw a tumbleweed roll by. we just kind of looked at each other, slightly embarrassed at what just happened and silently went back to waiting...

i mean, it was only about three minutes until another train came by...but seriously, theres no excuse for us missing that first train. the weird thing is, why didnt we just go to another door?? guess my critical thinking skills were just not firing that early in the morning. awkward!

who says FELLA?!

"i got me a fella". i meeeann..who says that?!? the girl sitting across from me on the metro yesterday says it, thats who. she kept repeating over and over "i got me a fella". she was talking to her friend who seemed amused by her chattering and she just went on and on about how she doesnt know how its going to go with this fella and how the fella is making her dinner tonight and how great she finally has a fella. i was like, maybe you would have more fellas if you stopped calling them fellas. haha what a weirdo!

girls on metro

so i was riding the metro today as per usual when three well-dressed mid-twenties girls get on. one has a scowl on her face...which i dont get..if you are in a bad mood, keep it to yourself sister! especially bright and early in the morning, what could have possibly happened at this hour to get you so bent out of shape?? anyway, this is the conversation that followed:

scowl girl: ugh. the metro is SO crowded. its ridiculous. (huffing and puffing and looking personally offended that so many people are on the train)
friend of scowl: oh my gawd, i know. like...why is it so crowded, i wonder?? (looks all around with confused look)
scowl girl: ugh, i have no idea. i hate it when its crowded. (more huffing and eye rolling)
friend of friend: (just kept shaking her head in agreement with a pained look on her face)

i mean...did critical thinking ever come into play here?? lets see...i wooonder why the metro is sooo crowwwded during rush hour on a workday. hmm...gosh, i just dont know...sooo strange!! haha i mean, could this be their first time riding the metro during rush hour?! NOPE because they proceeded to bitterly complain about their jobs the rest of the ride. why then were they so confused by the amount of people, i wonder? guess some people have trouble getting the brain into gear early in the morning!?