Thursday, June 25, 2009

elevator tales

daily elevator rides can definitely have the potential for awkward situations. ellen (who i am obsessed with her stand-up, she is amazing) does a bit on elevators and how awkward they can be. its a tiny space, you are with a stranger, you stand in silence (which for me is always awkward silence) or someone tries to make awkward elevator small talk (which is tough because you never know how long each rider will be you must be smart in your choice of mini-convo and allow it to end quickly when necessary..nothing worse than the elevator doors closing and two ppl are trying to quickly finish their convo as the doors get closer and closer with one person on either side of the closing doors and all the other riders are secretly hoping one of them doesnt decide to throw a hand in causing the doors to pop back open, thus surely causing someone in the elevator to be late to a meeting or a lunch or a party or an appointment or...oops im babbling, sorry, ill stop)...etc. aaanyway, i was rushing for the elevator yesterday and just as it was about to close, it opened again. there was a security guard inside and she heard me coming and held it for me. so nice, right?? well as it turns, maybe she wasnt actually being nice, but just didnt want to ride alone! so the doors closed and i said thanks (for holding the door, obvi) and she smiles. then we start our ride and she starts fiddling with a candy or something. and then she turns to me and goes "i gotta eat a mint". hmm..i thought, well thats nice..but i didnt really ask. so i just go, "oh" and smile. then she continues..."yah, had me a submarine know...onions..." i was like, umm...i mean, what do you say to that?? haha i just laughed and go, "well then, i guess a mint is definitely in order". then it was my stop and as i stepped out i heard her cracking up as the doors close. haha totally weiiiird and totally the kind of situation that oddly enough, i find myself in very often!! clearly i didnt ask for any details of her eating schedule or her need for mints...but it really seems like sometimes ppl just have the need to tell me the weirdest thing...or maybe she just had really bad onion breath that, because of my bad nose, i couldnt smell, and perhaps she was just trying to explain it away as we were in a rather tiny space and i guess if it was as bad as she thought, it could have been offensive. hmm..dont know.

have a good one! xoxo

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